As with most people with infertility, we do not really look forward to the holiday season - specifically family gatherings. This year was no different. However, this was the first year in the past 3 years that I wasn't a big ball of mess. I enjoyed the time with my nieces and nephews. There is nothing like it for me. I love them to pieces and often think of them as my own children.
Even so, there is still an emptiness in my heart. An emptiness that nothing can fill. An emptiness not many people can understand (nor do I expect them to). I know many friends and family that prayed for us over the holiday season, and we can't thank you enough. I felt those prayers throughout all of our various family gatherings. Family gatherings where there were new babies, pregnancy announcements, and endless talk of motherhood (and how special it is) and children.
This Christmas, my prayer was that I would not be consumed with my circumstance of infertility, but that I would be consumed with the amazing gift given to us over 2,000 years ago. And when I sat down to think about it on Christmas (and the days after), I was overwhelmed by the love of God. A God who loves me despite all of my flaws (and there are oh, so many). A God that sent His own son to die for my sin so that I could be adopted into His family. How amazing is that?!
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